removeimpurity | Seventh Incision [Voice/(Accidentally) Written]

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Seventh Incision [Voice/(Accidentally) Written]

[Voice]

[Syre's voice tonight is calm -- emotionless, even -- as she broadcasts over the journals.]

To all that I may have interacted with during this most recent of Shifts: let it be known that the name Ariadelle Estriet [--hatred creeps into her voice for that brief moment, dark and bitter--] is one that I prefer not to be addressed by.

I would not have my image sullied by taking on the name of a deserter.

[The feed stops shortly after that.]

[Written; Accidental]

[Much, much later that night, a series of quick notes show up. It seems Syre has mistaken her broadcast journal for the one she normally keeps research in.]

-- Energy expenditure in creation of all constructs 1.5 times normal. Care needed to avoid exhaustion.

-- Still unable to ~~give life to~~animate constructs for more than few seconds at a time. Related to power limits of enclosure(?).

-- Research required into alternate means of animating constructs. Must favor alchemic/magical practices; technological research too time-/resource-consuming.

-- Additional research required to grant construct minor magical/alchemic abilities; useful for construction of potential assistant(s).

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[ Helios watches Syre carefully as she takes two of the cupcakes. Luminair gives a happy little chirp looking back at Helios with questioning eyes. Helios waves the little dragon off, which sets off Luminair's tail into a fit of happy wags. ]

No, certainly not. We definitely have to meet on better terms in the future though. [ Helios colors slightly at the compliment. ] Ah. N-No. I'm just...trying to help, is all. No blessings needed for that.

[Don't mind Syre, she's just gonna... hand Luminair his cupcake now, as she takes a bite from her own.]

Yes, definitely. Better terms would certainly be less stress inducing!

[She smiles warmly back at Helios, taking another bite from her cupcake.]

You've been more helpful than anyone I've ever met, Helios. Compassionate and kind... Much more of a gentleman than any knight in my homeland. [A faint flush rises to her cheeks, and she averts her eyes.]

[ Helios' own face colors a little at the compliment. He gives a quick sheepish laugh before turning around. A hand will find its way to the back of his head. Oh, dear, that wasn't quite what he was expecting her to say. ] O-Oh I'm not, really. I-I mean there's-there's so many other people who-who would do the same. I just...try to help a friend in need, is all.

[ Then he'll turn back around, his face much less hot and more normal looking once again. ]

...You've done more for me in the short time we've known each other... than anyone else in my entire life.

[Her face, on the other hand, is still a bright pink.]

And I thank you for that, Helios.

O-Oh. Really? [ Helios sounds a bit sad at that, actually. He was just doing simple things that anyone would willingly do for someone else. It..actually makes him quite sad.

He looks away, his own face feeling hot very briefly again. ] It-it's no trouble at all Syre. I-I enjoyed do it, s-so you don't have to thank me for it.

Y-Yeah... [She laughs, nervously, giving Luminair's head an absent little pet as she thinks about what else to say.]

There needs to be more people like you, not just in my world, but in general... so that, when I return home, I'd... actually have someone to return to.

[ Luminair chirps curiously as he looks up at Syre, frosting and cupcake crumbs on his face. You two are sure acting weird. ]

Ah w-well...people can change. [ He smiles a little more. ] But maybe you'll f-find someone like that back home? I-I hope you do at some point. You, um, deserve that much at least.

[ Everyone deserves to have someone dear and close to them. ]

[Everyone does, but when their home has worn them down into a shell of a woman...]

... I hope so, too. [She looks a little sad as she smiles back.] Though... I don't think anyone would compare to you.

[Feel free to take that any way you want, Helios.]

[ Helios blinks and just...looks embarrassed at that. He is so very red right now. He coughs and turns away to go get the hot, now boiling kettle. He'll turn the stove off and take out two bags of tea, Earl Gray and his own Vanilla Chai. He lets the two bags steep for a few minutes. But while they're doing that Helios will bustle around the kitchen. ]

I-I don't know about that. I-I'm not all that special or-or anything of the sort. [ He is so being modest now. ]

You are, to me.

[Her face flushes, and she scratches her head nervously.]

And you always will be.

[ Helios manages to curb his sputtering. But the tea he just fixed himself makes him choke a little, as he takes a sip. He is just going to cough for a good moment or two. Clearing his throat he gives Syre a fleeting glance. He was so stupid not to see it before now. It was almost something like what happened with him and Robert. Oh dear. He just...wasn't sure, but words like those were seldom said by people who were just friends. ] Ah. S-Syre...

[ Oh gods. How does he even approach this subject. He is so very terrible at this sort of thing. He will set her cup of tea down and take a seat across from her then. He shifts, visibly uncomfortable and otherwise trying to put into words what he wants to say. ] Um. By that, you-you mean...

[It was now or never, really. This sort of opportunity doesn't come often...]

...I suppose the best way of approaching it is... a rather wordy one... since my arrival, nearly six months ago, you've been nothing but kind and understanding with me. Even... Even when the Malnosso have done their damnedest to break our friendship.

[She still remembers the Phanto Mask incident. It eats at her, reminds her that there's always the chance that she could harm someone without meaning to.]

But, in spite of that, you've been so patient, so forgiving, and...

[She falters a moment. Should she get straight to the point, or...?]

... I... I suppose what I'm trying to say is...

I... I have feelings for you, Helios. Feelings that I've... never really had for anyone else.

[ The phanto mask incident and everything else they've been through, will go through. Luceti knows how to make people come together, in its own twisted way. Helios colors rather prominently when Syre speaks those words. There's a pang of guilt that goes through him because he didn't want this to happen. Not for him but for her, because he can't reciprocate such feelings. It...makes getting close to people hard at times, for situations like this arise from it.

He bites his lip and looks away, guilt and apology written all over his face. ] Syre I. I'm sorry because I-I can't. [ He blinks and sighs. Love. It was always so hard to talk about it. It never gets easier but...it at least it helps to talk about it. ]

I can't r-return those feelings. It's not you. It's-it's me. [ He brings a slightly shaky hand to his chest. ]

[His words burn her, and she winces; she draws her hand to her own chest, as though she had touched something unbearably hot.]

[Too soon; it's entirely too soon, having had her heart torn by the damn Shift mere days before... and now the Gods would go so far as to tear the one thing she held onto away from her?]

[She has to fight back tears, and the all-too-fresh memories of the end of that Shift; of Lupin explaining everything, of sobbing uncontrollably in his arms...]

[When she speaks again, her voice is soft, her breath shaky. Composed... she has to stay composed.]

...is... is it because of that spell? [The same reason why his hands were so cold to the touch, the reason he had been so hesitant to dance with her at first, at the Masquerade...?]

[ Luminair gives Syre a worried, concerned, little chirp. He nudges her hand chirping sadly as he somewhat feels her sadness and distress. ]

It. It is, yes. [ His own eyes burn a little at the remembrance of that night. Helios bites his lip and shakes his head. He lets out his own shaky sigh and is silent for several moments. The silence is deafening and he honestly wishes that it didn't come down to this. ]

It...took someone very dear and close to me, S-Syre. She. She and I were...were soulmates. And-and when she passed away I. I couldn't...I can't. Not anymore. Not...not ever again.

[ He stifles a small sob of his own because the admission still takes so much out of him, even now. Love was one of the most basic and needed emotions and he, he couldn't feel that way about anyone anymore. It hurt on such a fundamental level at times and it caused things like this to happen. It wasn't fair to her or to anyone else for that matter, especially not to himself. ] I-I'm sorry.

["Soulmates".]

[The word held significant meaning as it was. But, hearing that he had already loved another and lost them (and along with them, the ability to feel love) forces open that painful emotional wound just a little farther.]

[A half-strangled sound leaves her, faint yet pained. She looks down, at her own hand, then at Luminair, wondering when (if ever) things will stop pulling her so thin.]

It... It isn't your fault. [Her voice is heavy, and wavering slightly.] And... you have nothing to apologize for.

Not now. Not ever.

I. I didn't realize that you... [ he blinks his eyes to clear them. Gods he was so stupid sometimes. How couldn't he have not noticed and then to dump something like this on her in the middle of it all. The sound she makes causes Helios to flinch and hunch a little more on himself. ]

I-I should have seen it. Should have known a-and told you. [ He was just...so utterly unfamiliar to such things being directed at him. He could never actually believe it when people actually felt that way about him either. It was just so foreign and completely out of his element, his lack of confidence and self worth never really helped either.

It... it's fine. [Her voice is strained, as though she's forcing herself to keep composure.] I... I was... foolish to not have told you sooner.

[ Helios slightly hunches in on himself as he still doesn't meet Syre's eye. ] I-I should have, have realized.

[ That he was giving off such signals and ideas. ] It takes courage to-to say something like that. I-I understand entirely.

[ He was like that once, with Elise. So he knows what it's like. ]

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Seventh Incision [Voice/(Accidentally) Written]

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